Weigh in Wednesday

 

 

Still haven't lost weight. I really don't understand it. I realize that I'm gaining muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. But in 6 months...I'm down 4 pounds on a good day. Bogus if you ask me.

 

I'm trying not to even concern myself with my number though. I should really just stop weighing myself all together. Yep, just decided I'm not weighing myself until July 15.

 

Some days I feel really good and can see the changes in my body and some days I feel like a fat tub of lard. I'm trying to kick ass this week and the beginning of next week because next Thursday we're going to Lake Geneva, WI for my family reunion! Cannot WAIT to see my mama!!! But anyways...this picture proves that my body is changing!

 

 

 

The past couple of days I've been slacking with eating right. It's not that I eat unhealthy food (except the mac n cheese pizza, and s'more I ate last weekend while we were on vacation.) I eat really healthy 80% of the time. But the past couple of days I haven't been eating enough. So by the time I'm about half way through with my work out I start feeling really shaky and light headed and either can't finish my workout or can't give 100%. Tonight I really thought I might pass out. I came home and drank a protein shake and had half a sweet potato right away while Rayce made turkey burgers. What I need to do is make sure I drink more protein shakes and eat more throughout the day to fuel my body for my workouts. Just shows how important how and what you eat really is!

Letter to my 21 year old self

Linking up with Holly and Jake today!

 

 Dear 21 year old Megan,

 

Even though I want your 21 year old ready for Spring Break in South Padre body back...

you were really quite a dumbass this year.

 

Pretty much only because you continued to date someone you KNEW was bad for you. For the love of God...why would you date/continue to date someone that had a drinking problem and was not nice to you when he was drunk. He will be a very bad influence on you, and your dumb ass will let him convince you to go out to the bar (and smoke a few cigarettes) every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday when you really didn't want to. He had drinking problems, mommy issues, PTSD from being in Iraq and I know you really wanted to help him...but you can't help someone that doesn't want help. Don't every put up with someone treating you badly. (Why it took more than one of these relationships to figure that out is yet to be figured out)

 

One thing I want to commend you on, is not giving into pressue. Pressure from men boys. Up until you started dating the a-hole I already talked about, you desperately wanted a relationship and looked at every guy you met as a possible boyfriend. Don't do that. It's ridiculous. You'll kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince in a few years. But I'm proud of you for straight up telling the guys you meet that you're not going to sleep with them. Saved you both a lot of wasted time and effort. So kudos on that.

 

You'll have a lot of fun with your friends the first couple months of being 21. You should always make time for your friends. Go out, drink, have fun, live it up.

 

The end.



Feeling sad

Ever since I read this post by Hallie at Life: Oceanside...I've been a little sad thinking about how much I miss my mom and sister and North Carolina. It just doesn't get easier living over 1000 miles from the two closest people to you.

 

 

 

When I decided to move back to Iowa I had a vision of what it would be like. I thought I would see my best friends fairly often, even though they live an hour and a half away. That doesn't happen...we hardly ever see each other. I thought I would find a job that I love (even like.) That still hasn't happened. I thought I wanted to live here...but I don't.

 

 

It brings me to tears when I think about all the events I'm missing and the memories they are making that don't involve me. My sister is going to get engaged...I won't be there. She'll have to tell me over the phone and send me pictures of the ring. I may not be able to go to her bridal showers and bachelorette party because I can't afford to fly that often. I won't be there to help plan the wedding. I'll get to see my nieces and/or nephews a couple times a year. The same goes for when I get engaged and plan my own wedding and have babies. I won't have the two most important women in my life there to help me or share in the excitement. It breaks my heart. (I know it breaks yours too, mom) I just never imagined it to be this way. I know it's my own fault. I'm kicking myself in the ass for it now.

 

 

I love Rayce so much and our relationship is amazing. I just wish so much that he would move with me. I could never just leave him because I don't want to live here. It's not that easy. Hallie made a good point...even with a wonderful man and wonderful relationship, those things don't make it any easier to be away from those who held my heart first.



Things that make me uncomfortable

Day 3: Things that make you uncomfortable

 

Being present when other people argue

Anything to do with abortion...just talking about it or seeing somthing about it on tv. I just can't. When I watched Revolutionary Road I was seriously about to pass out during the abortion part. Like light headed and shit. This has nothing to do with my views on abortion so no one needs to get all huffy about it...it just makes me super uncomfortable/weird feeling.

Pants

Bugs/spiders

Not having some kind of snack in my purse...what if I get hungry?

When I know someone is wrong but I don't know them well enough to say anything. I want to so bad but I just can't.

Social situations where I don't know anyone

Feet touching me

When men cry

When I really really need to crack my neck or knuckles but they won't crack

Accents/people that mumble/talk softly that I can't understand

Dancing

Public speaking

That's a pretty solid list...I'm all worked up now.

 

A moment in my day

I'm supposed to be in Wisconsin right now with Rayce and his family at the races. We left at 6:00 a.m. Friday morning and by Plattville, WI (just over an hour into the trip) I thought I was gonna hurl. I've been sick with a really bad cold for almost a week now but I thought I was ok to still go on vacation. Guess not. So I called my dad and he drove all the way to Plattville to save me. So I've been sitting at my dad's house (in the middle of nowhere) for two days and I'm bored out of my mind.

So, since I never know what to blog about...I'm stealing an idea (I might do more than one...gasp!!) from the whole "blog every day in May" thing that I didn't participate in. Whatever. I do what I want.

Day 9: A moment in your day (this can be just a photo or both a photo and words)

 

I work at a daycare. I usually work in the nursery but I occasionally work in the 10-16 month room as well. Unlike the nursery...in this room, they all nap at the same time. It's glorious. This is one of my favorite little guys. They are so precious when they sleep. I could snuggle him all day.