Thursday, March 27, 2014


So my about to drastically change. I'm moving to Raleigh, North Carolina in a week. Holy shit. A week...I can't believe it's so close. I only have 4 days of work left and am leaving in 8 days. I've been waiting so long to get back to NC and now that it's happening I have so many mixed emotions.

First of all...I'm so excited! I've managed to snag a great job as a new construction listing coordinator at a great real estate company (mostly thanks to my sister!) I start either the day after or two days after I get time to relax! I'm super excited for this opportunity and to get started working but I'm also really's going to be stressful and I have a lot to learn. But I'm going in confident that I'm more than capable!

For my job...I pretty much need to buy a whole new wardrobe. I'm really freaking excited about it. I've worn yoga pants and t-shirts to work for the past two years which has been nice (and comfy!) but I'm excited to have nice clothes and dress up and look nice for work everyday. And I'm excited I'll finally be able to afford to go shopping. I haven't been able to afford to shop for myself in years. I've been pinning like crazy. Here's some of my favs. Here's my Pinterest board if you want to see more!

I'm going to be living with my mom for awhile. I'm ok with it. I'm so happy and appreciative that she's letting me live with her rent free. I'm going to save as much money as I can while I don't have rent to pay!

The only thing I'm sad/not looking forward to is leaving Rayce. I've been with him almost everyday for 2 years and now we're just going to be apart. We haven't really talked about it. We've been going on like normal since I decided to move. Nothing's different. We haven't talked about what's going to happen when I leave. Are we just breaking up? Are we still going to talk everyday? Should we not talk for awhile? I don't know and I'm afraid to talk about it and he obviously is too. Our relationship has been changing for the past few months. At least I think it has. A lot of the time I feel like we're just roommates/friends. I also feel like neither one of us has made the effort to do something about it because we've known that I'm leaving anyways. And he doesn't want to move so...I don't know. It's complicated. I love him so much....I guess we just aren't meant to be together.

So many feelings and emotions lately. It's exhausting. I've not been sleeping very well a lot of nights. My brain doesn't shut off. I lay in bed and I can't stop thinking about all of this. About a new job, finding new friends, living with my mom again, not being with just does. not. stop.

I'm so ready to focus on building a career with this company and just "doing me" as they say. Whatever that means. All I know is that I'm going to focus on work and make time to continue working out. The rest will fall into place. At least that's what I'm counting on.

Phew...brain dump.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

don't know the last time i's some confessions!

...this is my first time linking up for humpday confessions

....i just got done with a facetime interview. i always get so worked up and nervous for interviews and then they never ask me any questions (which I'm totally fine with...less chance for me to say something dumb) i'm facetiming with the head honcho of the company on friday...crossing my fingers!

...i get the nervous poops. i pooped 3 times this morning before my interview. too much info? #sorrynotsorry's starting to get more real as it gets closer to the time I move...just over 2 weeks until i'm back in north carolina.

...we've been getting ready to move out of the duplex we've lived in for 2 years. i'm embarrassed by how disgusting it was. I need to be better at cleaning...

....i have one more episode of breaking bad to watch and I'm probably going to cry when it's over
....i know everyone is complaining about winter lasting FOREVER...but i'm also going to complain. at least it's been staying mostly about freezing here in iowa...can't wait for the north carolina weather!
....two of my best friends popped out babies in the last two weeks. i'd be lying if i said i wasn't jealous. (and also so so so happy for them of course!)
....i could literally live off of only carbs
for real though