Monday, July 8, 2013

Social anxiety

I've recently (with the help of a friend) self diagnosed myself with social anxiety. Seriously. While hanging out with a friend Friay night, somehow it was brought up that he has social anxiety, which I never knew. He takes medicine for it and says it doesn't affect (effect?) him anymore.
Now I've never had anything major like panic attacks or anything like that. But when I am in a crowd (think weddings, parties, bars, etc.) I am almost always just very very uncomfortable and nervous. Depending who I'm with of course. I'm just always thinking "that person is looking at me...why are they looking at me" or "omg I haven't talked to that person in years...should I go say hi? What do I talk about? What if it's uncomfortable and I start sweating?" or "Ok, Rayce is talking cars again, what do I do? Ok I'll just stand here silently for awhile" or "I should really go say hi to so and so but I don't know what to say"

According to Mayoclinic:
(I have all but one of these!)
Emotional and behavioral social anxiety disorder signs and symptoms include:
  • Intense fear of interacting with strangers
  • Fear of situations in which you may be judged
  • Worrying about embarrassing or humiliating yourself
  • Fear that others will notice that you look anxious
  • Anxiety that disrupts your daily routine, work, school or other activities
  • Avoiding doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment
  • Avoiding situations where you might be the center of attention
  • Difficulty making eye contact
  • Difficulty talking
Seriously I'm a mess. It's stupid. And annoying. I honestly never thought about social anxiety before. I also will sometimes just be sitting doing nothing and all of a sudden feel a really strong sudden surge of nerves, for no reason. I explained all this to my friend and he was like "that's social anxiety" and I was like "Holy shit, I have social anxiety."
Now I'm seriously considering getting medication for it. I don't feel anxiety daily. I wouldn't need it when I go to work and stuff...just when I'm going to be in a social situation with lots of people. I don't know.

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